Dear Housemates of Our Radical Progressive Queer Co-op
In general living here has been a wonderful experience, however I have a few issues I would like to address:
- I believe in our fragrance-free policy, for the sake of allergies and sensitive noses. Speaking of unwanted scents, I also believe in showers. They don’t have to be daily, especially if you’re not physically active. They don’t have to involve shampoo every time. But they should be in your schedule somewhere, preferably after dumpster diving on Tuesdays.
- You are absolutely correct that neither shaving nor keeping your legs hairy is empowering to women unless its by choice. However, after you choose to shave your legs in the shower, please also choose to get that hair out of the freaking tub.
- While it’s totally true that nobody’s sexual orientation should be enforced or coerced or made into law, we do have an enforced law in the bathroom: When you replace the toilet paper (or more accurately, if you replace the toilet paper), make sure it rolls over the top, not down below. I don’t want to go on a treasure hunt every time I take a poop. And please, leave a backup roll. While I fully embrace the clothing-optional atmosphere of our body-positive home, I don’t want to shimmy down the hall with my ass hanging out in an emergency dash for TP.
- Invisibility is an important topic: Invisible minorities, femme invisibility, trans man invisibility in the mainstream media… Just because the mainstream can’t see oppression doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Similarly, just because you can’t see dirt on the stove, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Get those corners, please. Scrub under all the things on the counter. Take them off the counter and clean under them.
- It is totally unfair for the “G” and the “L” of the acronym to get their rights first and put off everyone else’s rights for later. On that note, when I ask you to dust the living room, don’t wipe down the two most visible and easy-to-reach surfaces and then call it a day. No surface is dust-free until all surfaces are dust free. Don’t be a slacktivist with the Windex.
- I get it–I’m disabled too. You’re out of spoons, I’m out of spoons… However, the kitchen is also out of spoons, and I did the dishes the last ten times. You can see my chore points clearly marked on our handy-dandy co-op whiteboard.
(Which I’ll note, does not keep score for every time someone merely wiped a damp rag across the table one or two times, without even applying pressure or soap, and called that “cleaning”. My feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit. Likewise, that wash rag will intersect with soap or else you won’t clean a damn thing.)By following these simple guidelines, I believe we can create a more loving, supportive, and radical living space for everyone. We might even have a few less cockroaches.
Sincerely,
Amy(originally posted on my main site)
Condoms : How to Avoid Common User Errors
Condoms are 99% effective at preventing pregnancies and STI’s. This is of course, only if you use them properly.
50 studies recently gathered 14 countries during the years between 1995 and 2011 have been analyzed by the Kinsey Institute Condom Use Research Team (KICURT). These studies highlight a number of user inflicted condom errors. Some of the mistakes include using a sharp object to open the packet, putting a condom on too late or by taking it off too early.
These studies found that between 17 and 51.1 % of people put a condom on after sex has already begun and between 13.6 and 44.7 % percent said that they take it off too early. Even at the lowest outliers, 13 % of people is still too many in ONE’s mind. These studies also found that up to 45.7 percent of men surveyed did not leave space at the tip of the condom for semen.
Studies regarding condom efficacy are commonplace however much attention has not been given to how consistently and properly condoms are used by their user. ONE Condoms wants all of our users to safely and properly know how to use a condom. Included in every ONE Condoms packet are detailed instructions on how to properly use a condom. Here’s how to use condoms correctly.
First, handle with care. You should always remember to store condoms in a cool, dry place. Condoms don’t like extreme temperatures. Also, do not use if expired. Tear open the package carefully. Do not use your fingernails, teeth or anything that could damage the condom. Make sure to push the condom away from the foil notch when you are going to tear. Once out of the package, roll the condom on with your fingers before any sexual contact. Remember to pinch the receptacle tip of the condom between your thumb and forefinger. This prevents air from becoming trapped at the tip of the condom and allows space for semen. Use the condom during the entirety of your sex session. Using lubricant will reduce the risk of your condom breaking also. Once finished, hold the base of the condom after withdrawal.
Remember condoms are only effective if used properly. ONE Condoms keeps you protected and informed from harmful and unwanted diseases. Many infections could be avoided by improved user effectiveness. A portion of every ONE Condoms sale goes towards HIV/AIDS prevention efforts at home and abroad.
Stay safe and use ONE everytime.
(via rabbleprochoice)
Lost Goddesses: Denial of Female Power in Cambodian History by Trudy Jacobsen
Women had a high status in pre-modern Southeast Asia; this is constantly stated, especially in relation to discussions on the status of women today in the region. Why, then, is it that the position of women there today is far from equitable? Few studies have examined how or when - let alone why - this change came about. This is the first study ever to address the place of women in Cambodian history. A narrative and visual tour de force, it revises accepted perspectives in the history and geopolitical organization of Cambodia since c. 230 C.E. In so doing, the book examines the relationship between women and power and analyses the extent of female political and economic participation as revealed in historical sources, including the ways in which women were represented in art and literature. By taking an analytical approach through the sequence of chronological periods, it is possible to determine when and why the status of women changed and what factors contributed to these changes. Significantly, although Cambodian women have been represented at different times as ‘powerless’ in western analyses, they have continued to exercise authority outside those areas of concern to western constructs of power. This study will be of interest to scholars working in history, anthropology, gender studies, politics, religion, Cambodian/Khmer studies, and Southeast Asian studies, as well as members of the general public.
(via asianhistory)
Currently Reading: Women with Mustaches and Men without Beards by Afsaneh Najmabadi.
“Drawing from a rich array of visual and literary material from nineteenth-century Iran, this groundbreaking book rereads and rewrites the history of Iranian modernity through the lens of gender and sexuality. Peeling away notions of a rigid pre-modern Islamic gender system, Afsaneh Najmabadi provides a compelling demonstration of the centrality of gender and sexuality to the shaping of modern culture and politics in Iran and of how changes in ideas about gender and sexuality affected conceptions of beauty, love, homeland, marriage, education, and citizenship. She concludes with a provocative discussion of Iranian feminism and its role in that country’s current culture wars. In addition to providing an important new perspective on Iranian history, Najmabadi skillfully demonstrates how using gender as an analytic category can provide insight into structures of hierarchy and power and thus into the organization of politics and social life.”
hellloooo
:DD
(via asianhistory)
MSNBC Talks To And About Trans People For An Hour, Doesn’t F*ck It Up
We’re only about 30 seconds into MSNBC’s 20-minute “Transgender in America” segment when host Melissa Harris-Perry describes herself as “cis,” explaining that “cis” means that “the sex of the body I was born with, the gender I was assigned at birth, and my personal identity all match. She then pointed out that “being ‘cis’ does not make me “normal” or “natural,” it just makes me cis.” After last week’s shitshow with Barbara Walters and Jenna Talackova, the last thing anybody expected from a mainstream (if left-leaning) news organization was to hear the definition of “cisgender” on National television. It gets better from there.
The National Center for Transgender Equality, in its press release, said of the MSNBC program that:
“For the first time in recent memory, a major television network will dedicate an hour-long panel to discussing transgender social and political issues. NCTE Executive Director Mara Keisling will be a featured guest on the show joining other recognized experts on trans issues. The panel will focus broadly on advancing transgender equality and other political issues.”
“When we see transgender people like Chaz Bono or others in the media, we’re often encouraged to see the spectacular, not the person,” Harris-Perry explained before introducing three guests: author and activist Kate Bornstein, the aforementioned Mara Keisling and Mel Wymore (a Democratic candidate for the New York City Council). She later brings out Allison Kilkenny of Citizen Radio who also chimes in on issues within the LGBT community that don’t really apply to the “T.” The importance of non-discrimination policies were addressed at length, including the Prison Rape Elimination Act, as well as the importance of inclusiveness within the LGBTQ community. They went into how issues like same-sex marriage and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell have very different impacts on different segments of the LGTBQ umbrella and how crucial it is that the LGBs understand that.
After going over some of the harrowing statistics about discrimination against transgender people in housing, employment, school and the criminal justice system, the story of African-American transgender Crishuan “CeCe” McDonald is introduced. CeCe was, as Kate Bornstein describes it, “beaten savagely by a group of folks and she fought back and ended up, in self-defense, killing one of her attackers. She was charged with second-degree murder, and put in the slammer, and that’s that.” Harris-Perry compares CeCe’s situation to that of Trayvon Martinand Kate mentions the online petition that you should all sign to get her out of jail.
“Transgender people are just normal people in most ways,” Keisling declared. “but nature loves diversity.”
The ensuing 15 minutes, which were devoted to discussing the Obama administration’s refusal to sign the executive order against discrimination by employers with federal contracts based on gender identity and sexual orientation, which Jillian T.Weiss writes about on the Bilerco Project today.
All-in-all, a pretty solid program and an excellent antidote to the Barbara Walters situation. (Although I was a little surprised by the section where Kate and Melissa seemed to imply that most trans people don’t use/like binary-identified pronouns — what did y’all think of that part?) In response to the Jenna Talackova 20/20 interview, many hoped that the sort of horrifying way in which that was covered would at least open up a door to discussing trans issues in a more serious and less sensationalistic way. This piece would suggest that the door is opening, and that people are walking through it. And that’s pretty fucking awesome.
(via pansexualpride)
Catharsis: Trans Women’s Stories of Sexual Violence CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
Call For Submissions 4/3/12 **Please Share & Repost!**
Catharsis: Trans Women’s Stories of Sexual Violence is seeking written submissions from trans women who are willing to share their experiences of sexual violence and assault. The goal is to create a book-length collection of personal essays and stories from trans women about their individual experiences. Through compiling these stories, we hope to counteract the tendency of broader feminist dialog to deal with the subject of violence against trans women as hypothetical, ethereal, and comparatively minimal. We also hope that such a compilation would reinforce the place of trans women among all women and help to bring support and healing to our often overlooked communities.
DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS IS JULY 31ST, 2012! For Submission Form Please go to: http://catharsisproject.wufoo.com/forms/catharsis-submission-form/
What We’re Looking For: Stories of personal experience from self-identified trans women who are survivors of rape, sexual assault, or other sexual violence. Submissions should be roughly 2-5 pages in length and focus primarily on individual experiences and feelings. Because every individual processes these experiences in different ways, the “tone” of the collection will be left to the contributors. Anger, humor, grief, healing, indifference, etc. are all welcome themes. Those wishing to remain anonymous will have that wish respected and not be named in the final publication. Anonymity will be granted to the degree at which it’s requested, so please make your needs clear with your submissions.
Why Trans Women Only? The perception that trans women are less often targets of sexual violence is incredibly pervasive, even among allies to the trans community. This erroneous assumption is deeply rooted in cissexism, transphobia, and transmisogyny. While sexual violence affects many communities and is often taboo or “invisible” in those communities, trans women’s experiences are uniquely derided and ignored. This results in the isolation of trans women survivors, a culture of silence within broader trans communities, and a false pretense for the exclusion of trans women from feminist conversations about rape and assault. The purpose of this collection is to give voice to and encourage dialog around the specific reality of sexual violence against trans women. We are interested in work by trans women of all backgrounds, regardless of transition status, race, class, education, ability, age, orientation, or ocupation. Any survivor of sexual violence that self-identifies as a trans woman is encouraged to contribute. To send submit your story, go to: http://catharsisproject.wufoo.com/forms/catharsis-submission-form/
Anyone wishing to assist this project is encouraged to **forward this call for submissions widely.**
If you want to help further or have any questions please contact reddurkin@gmail.com
This is a really important work. Please spread the word.
Signal boost!
(via stfuconservatives)
Update: 11 year old trans girl lost appeal →
The above article is an update. Her mother went to appeal to keep her out of the psychiatric ward and lost. She will be institutionalized because of her expression of her gender. She will be held until she conforms to male gender and then released to foster care, not her mother who was supporting her.
Please, if you haven’t signed the petition, sign it, reblog it, ask your friends to sign it. We’ve managed to get 40K signatures for a pageant model, we’ve only gotten 11K for a little girl about to have her life ruined. Lets get on the ball and spread the word.
Gay blood ban divides McMaster campus →
The Canadian Blood Service’s contentious gay blood ban has tugged on the heartstrings of students at Hamilton’s McMaster University who are now trying to rally campus support to join a national protest campaign.
During a routine CBS blood drive on campus last fall, several gay students went public after they were not allowed to donate blood.
The ensuing controversy has divided the university’s student union and its board. On one side are those who want to join the Canadian Federation of Students’ (CFS) and its End the Ban campaign; on the other are those who want to maintain a close relationship with CBS and continue to hold blood drives.
Riaz Sayani-Mulji, acting operations commissioner for the McMaster Students Union’s (MSU) Student Representative Assembly, first submitted a motion last year to endorse and participate in the CFS campaign.
He says the MSU board delayed the motion because members thought the campaign could violate the university’s partnership agreement with CBS.
Riaz Sayani-Mulji has been trying to get McMaster University to join the CFS End the Ban campaign.
Eighty-seven post-secondary institutions across Canada, representing more than 600,000 students, have endorsed the campaign, which has teamed with the Canadian AIDS Society and EGALE, says Sandy Hudson, Ontario CFS chairperson.
Hudson notes that most institutions have maintained relationships with CBS after joining.
The campaign’s mission statement calls on the Ministry of Health, CBS and Héma-Québec to “end the lifetime ban on blood from men who have had sex with other men and base any deferral periods on behaviours, not demographics.”
Sayani-Mulji says this statement has concerned some members of the MSU who say the union shouldn’t get involved in social issues or join the CFS.
Hudson says she hopes the MSU will decide to stop discrimination against students on campus.
“Canadian students don’t feel safe donating blood on campus,” she says. “It can be alienating and outing for some people. This is not an isolated event. It’s up to the representatives to do something about it.”
Despite the recent lifting of a ban on men who have sex with men (MSM) donating blood in Britain, CBS has committed only to a review of the current ban in Canada.
On Feb 29 the CBS took to social media, asking followers to fill in a 17-question survey about the ban. Hudson says she thinks the survey is merely a PR exercise.
Most such bans were put in place in the early 1980s in response to the spread of HIV/AIDS. However, while Canadian statistics show that men who sleep with men still run the highest risk of contracting HIV, the technology used to screen and test blood is far more advanced today than it was when the original policy was adopted.
Public Health Agency of Canada research has found that HIV infection rates are on the rise in other groups, including aboriginals and immigrant groups from Africa and the Caribbean.
Marc Plante, public relations coordinator for CBS, says CBS is considering the option of a deferral policy of five to 10 years. This is one question CBS raised in its online survey.
CFS Ontario chairperson Sandy Hudson (centre) says the CBS ban is discriminatory. (Monirul Pathan)
Critics have said a five or 10-year deferral period is not realistic.
Meanwhile, CFS national deputy chairperson Adam Awad says many student unions have chosen to stop organizing blood drives on campus.
“We don’t encourage people to end the relationship altogether, but it’s about pressuring CBS to have non-homophobic policy based on science,” he says.
Sayani-Mulji is disappointed because the MSU once again voted against endorsing the CFS campaign at its Feb 5 meeting.
“By having a partnership with CBS, we are indirectly condoning their practices and are complicit in their discrimination against MSM,” he says. “Part of the debate was that board members were not convinced that the MSM ban is discriminatory. The students there are frustrated.”
He says students are circulating a petition condemning the board’s decision to maintain a relationship with CBS.
“It’s about partisan politics,” says Simon Granat, another SRA member who supports the CFS campaign. “I’ve received 1,000 signatures in support. So far we can only personally support the End the Ban campaign.”
Granat wants the MSU to take a stand on social issues that are important to students.
Several members of MSU’s board of directors recently approached the Canadian AIDS Society in order to create an MSU-specific campaign and circumvent joining CFS.
The CAS denied the request, noting it wanted to send consistent messaging.
“We welcome you to get involved with the End the Ban campaign so that our voices, united, send a strong message that this homophobic policy must be stopped,” wrote Monique Doolittle-Romas, CAS executive director, in a letter to the SRA.
Sayani-Mulji says he distributed copies of the letter to further support the cause.
“The board of directors made it clear that they do not support the campaign because of the CFS connection,” he says. “MSU president-elect Siobhan Stewart said that the End the Ban campaign doesn’t present both sides of the story and we should provide students with the pros and cons — when prompted on what she meant by pros and cons for lifting the ban, she had no response.”
Board members, including Stewart, did not respond to Xtra’s requests for comment.
Sayani-Mulji is frustrated by the rejection of the most recent motion, noting it had the support of local NDP MP Chris Charlton.
“My colleagues and I walked out to protest what we saw was an unfair, biased and shameful decision,” he says, noting that MSU president and CEO Matthew Dillon-Leitch said he wanted to start a campaign unique to McMaster University.
Considering MSU’s history with the issue, Sayani-Mulji is not hopeful about this alternative.
“It will probably be a watered-down version of the campaign that does not take a stance against the discriminatory ban,” he says.
This has swept across our campus over the past few months, and while we do not have a singular opinion one way or another, it’s interesting to see that we were reported on in Xtra! (Even if they are a problematic magazine)
Things Trans* Men Could Own
An anonymous person told me they were looking for a list of things trans* men should own and asked if I had any ideas. It’s important to me that anyone who reads this post recognizes that they don’t have to get any or all of the things on here to be trans* enough. This list is not in any way meant to be used as a tool to pressure anyone into a specific form of gender expression. This list is meant to be helpful, not damaging, and should be used as a resource if this is already what you’re looking for. These are things that I’ve seen others find helpful and things I’ve found helpful in my own transition.
Below the Belt
- Shoes: I have small feet, and sometimes that makes me dysphoric. You may need to buy new shoes if you plan on taking T as well. In my experience, T made my feet wider, and none of my old shoes fit anymore. To make your feet look bigger, wear long shoes, like dress shoes, or Chuck Taylors. I buy my shoes at Goodwill, Saver’s, and other used clothing places. Stay away from the Salvation Army if you can help it, they’re not trans*/queer friendly at all. If you’re going to a place that has their shoes more organized and you can’t find your size, check out the children’s section. It may feel awkward, but you can revel in the fact that they’re way cheaper.
- Pants: Pairing your shoes with skinny or straight-leg pants helps. Oftentimes, bootcuts or wide-legs will hide the majority of my feet, and I look like I’m wearing oversized clothes. Ebay has a good explanation of the differences between all of them. You don’t have to wear men’s pants if you don’t want obviously. If you do want to but you’re new to it, expect to find out your new size and expect to have huge pockets. I know it seems silly, but finding things in my pockets will never be simple again. To find out your new size, in US sizing charts, just add 21 to your current pant size. I’m a 30 in men’s, so that would mean I’m a 9 in women’s (which is interesting since 30 is usually the smallest size I can find). This isn’t a fool-proof calculation, so you may need to go up or down a bit in sizes. If you’re smaller than a 30, you may need to buy pants in the juniors’ or kids’ section of the store. There are specialty stores for dress clothes for small folks. Check out Google or the Yellow Pages for one near you. If you’re looking online for dress clothes, check out TOPMAN. They have a wide variety of styles and sizes. They’re too expensive for my personal budget, so I go to Goodwill, WalMart, or Factory2U (which is one of those discount stores for botched factory produced apparel). If you’re short or have short legs, you will probably need to hem your pants since most stores don’t carry anything smaller than 30x30s. I recommend investing in an iron and some Stitch Witch fabric tape.
- Packers: Getting a packer helps a lot of folks with their dysphoria. That being said, they can be expensive. You can go with an STP or with a plain old packy.The Sailor Soft Pack from Good Vibes comes in 3 different skin tones and is one of the cheaper packers on the market. TransGuys has a bunch of information on packers and harnesses, compares their prices, and shows pictures of the product outside of brand advertising. None of them are particularly cheap, but you can always make your own. If you’re looking for an STP, there are the STP-Fitz packers, DIY devices, LolaJake packers (which can be customized to be STP friendly at most and are really expensive), and the Triple Features PeeCock packer (piss, pack, and play). You can also get a hard packer if you’d like, and the aforementioned stores also sell those.
- Underwear/Harnesses: Packer harnesses are not a necessity, but they can make life easier. If you can’t afford a packer harness, you can simply wear briefs and free-pack. There is also a DIY way to do just about anything. TransGuys has a feature article comparing various harnesses. I own the Tool-Belt, which is STP friendly, and I wouldn’t recommend it as the packer often gets stuck between or behind my legs.
Above the Belt
- Binders: I wrote an article about binding safely a while ago, and I compared binder prices from different vendors around the world. Most folks wear the Double Front Compression or the Tri-Top from Underworks since they’re the cheapest and most reliable (though I’ve heard good things about the Love Boat Shop). Every brand has a specific sizing chart, and I know that Underworks’ products are individually sized differently. If you’re wearing a binder the reaches your hips, wear a belt or shirt-stays to keep it from rolling up.
- Shirts: If you’re pre-op and really conscious of your chest, I suggest experimenting with what shirts look best to you. Everyone’s body is different. While you may hear advice like don’t wear this or that, you can’t truly be certain unless you try it yourself. Shirts with patterns or designs, button-ups, polos, and anything that pulls attention away from your shape is generally said to be helpful. Jackets, casual or dress, are a god-send.
Packers, harnesses, and binders can all be found at stores in person, but they are usually only sold in sex toy shops making it difficult for younger trans* guys. I suggest buying a Visa gift card at the grocery store and having someone help you purchase the things you need. As always, if you don’t have anyone to help you out, my email is ira.d.gray at gmail dot com.
I recognize that this doesn’t apply to everyone, but some folks just don’t know where to even begin. If you’re looking for fashion advice, check out this guide. Normally, I am not a fan of 4chan at all, but they also have a pretty comprehensive fashion guide that is unfortunately mostly focused on brand names as opposed to styles. There is also Esquire’s Spring 2012 men’s fashion guide. Not everyone is concerned with fashion though, and that’s cool too. In the end, it’s important that you feel comfortable being you and have the means to do so.
